Great to see you this week. Let’s get into this action packed episode of The Bachelor.
We are in beautiful Paris for this week’s episode and someone is dead… No. Not Arie, though I would beg to differ. It’s Lauren B. who wins the non-feeling robot award for this week. This week there are 4 (YIKES) dates in Paris – two 1:1 dates, 1 group date, and the dreaded 2:1 date. Krystal is insane so she knows she is on the 2:1 date and the other girls are wary about who might be with her.
First up is the 1:1 date with Arie and Lauren B. The entire date is basically silent. Arie tries to pull out some conversation from Lauren B and she replies softly with, “Wow.” Thats it. Seriously. Just, “Wow.” Arie is worried that Lauren B doesn’t like him which of course (because he is a small minded door) makes him want her more. Maybe this should be everyone’s strategy when they go on this show. Make The Bachelor think that you hate him and you’ll at least get to the Fantasy Suites. They get to the night time part of the date and Lauren B opens up about how she was engaged to a man who sucked. Also her parents had a tough relationship and she was put in the middle. Interesting that this is the second time that we have heard that from one of the girls on the show. Is this the phrase that the producers give to women on the show that don’t actually have any problems? Arie then drops a bomb about how he was in a relationship with a woman who had two children, she got pregnant with his child and while he was out racing, she miscarried and told him she was leaving. Yeah… if this was a contest, Arie wins. He gives Lauren B the rose because he wants to know more about her (I guess) and she half heartedly accepts.
The group date this week takes place at the legendary Moulin Rouge. Bekah didn’t wear a bra so you know this was going to be super fun. The ladies were tasked to learn a dance routine, dress up as show girls, and perform for Arie. Just so you know, the performances had no merit on who would be selected for the evening portion of the date. That was just for fun. Seinne continues to surprise and delight because not only is she a genius, she also was a dancer AND speaks French. Seriously? It remains infuriating to me that she continues to be twice (three times, four times, five times… I could go on) as good as the rest of these women and she doesn’t have one ounce of a chance. Bekah gets the rose and goes on stage at the Moulin Rouge with Arie while the other women watch. Brutal.
Then we get to the 2:1 date where Krystal and Kendall go to the French countryside with Arie. There is some activity in a maze that is completely weird, but this is an opportunity for Arie to get more details on how Kendall could be marriage material and whether or not Krystal is actually sorry for being insane last week. Krystal seems to have gotten herself out of the dog house and then steps right back in it when she badmouths Kendall to Arie. Rule number 3 on this show — Never badmouth another contestant to The Bachelor or Bachelorette. That says more about you than it does about the person you are trying to drag. With little to no fanfare, Arie dismisses Krystal with a short, “Bye,” and he spends the rest of the evening making out with Kendall under the Eiffel Tower.
Finally we get to the last 1:1 date featuring Jacqueline. We haven’t received a lot of PT from her this season, but we know a few things about her for sure: she has a great head of hair, she is working on getting her PHD, she is an over thinker, and she looks great in a black midi dress. Arie is very taken with her, but is nervous that he isn’t interesting enough for such a smart woman. News Flash: YOU AREN’T! Interesting that he hasn’t had this conversation with Seinne. Probably because she actually isn’t someone he thinks he would be with in the long term so there is no reason to even bring up that she’s basically Beyoncé. After a misplaced meltdown, Jacqueline gets the rose.
Later at the cocktail hour, we lose Chelsea (single mom) and Coked Out Jenna, who I will actually miss! We learn that next week we are headed to Tuscany to make our final 4 selections. Under the cover of strategic camera shots we see Lauren B reading these women to filth. She exclaims that she is “over it” and that she is so annoyed by the whole process and want to be with Arie and have it just be over. Color me surprised!
XO – Taylor