Welcome to the first real week of The Bachelor, friends! We are excited to actually get into the good stuff so let’s get it going!
Storytime with the ladies
The ladies spend the day with Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman telling stories of their first times. Though the girls could have all taken that prompt any way they wanted to, they instead decided to tell Colton about their first times meeting him. B O R I N G. We can do so much better than that, ladies! You’ve lived so much life before coming on this show. Say something… anything interesting. Come to find out, the only woman who impressed Colton on that date was Elyse who talked about Colton being her first time dating a younger man. Cute. She gets the rose and Demi annoys people with her agro nature when it comes to getting her man.
1:1 with the other Alabama Hannah
Colton picked self-described train wreck, Alabama Hannah for his first ever 1:1 date. What could go wrong!? EVERYTHING. Based on the show and Colton’s commentary, this was truly the worst date ever. Hannah was being awkward, weird, and overthinking everything. She couldn’t even come up with 5 words to string together in a “speech” to kick off their date. Colton tried to get her to cool out, but it didn’t happen until the evening portion of the date when Colton finally said, “You don’t have to be perfect.” Those magic words mellowed Hannah and they ended up having a nice time on the date. I personally think Hannah is a little bit offbeat and her “strangeness” is going to be cute for now, but when it comes time for the real relationships, she’s going to get dropped for someone more confident. She gets the rose and she lives to freak out another day.
Most of the girls were on the summer camp date this week where they competed in challenges to win an overnight experience with Colton. Fun! Also on this date was my best friend Billy Eichner! He didn’t do much on the episode other than make jokes about Colton being the first gay Bachelor, but the challenges seemed exciting! The red team won and got to spend a little extra time with our boy. Caelynn revealed that she almost died as a child and has a dark past with Alabama (trainwreck) Hannah. Let’s hope we hear more! Heather who has never been kissed got the rose from this date after revealing her virginity and her never been kissed-ness to Colton. Fun Fact: He loved it!
Hear more from us on 25 to Life as we talk junk about the show, tell you about our firsts, and go through our power rankings from this episode.
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