So that’s it. There is no more to tell. After all of this we finally know for sure that the man Kaitlyn chose pretty much at the beginning of this whole thing, that hunk of piece of man butter, Shawn B. is the winner of The Bachelorette.
We spent the early part of the evening finishing the getting to know you portion of a relationship where Kaitlyn broke the ice to her parents (dads and stepdads included) that she had sex with Nick before “it was time.” As a human person, I would NEVER tell my parents that I had sex with anyone, but we all know the biggest symptom of Kaitlyn is the overshare. Nick won the family over despite his glowing reputation from Andi’s season, but in the end Shawn swooped in with the quickness speaking all of the right platitudes to secure his spot in the Bristowe family.
Then we get to the juice. Now remember, last time Nick was on this show, he never got to the final platform of death where The Bachelorette makes her final decision. Neil Lane never came to his door to allow him to pick out a ring he didn’t have to pay for. After going through all of the traditional motions, over confident Nick was ready to “get down on one knee,” but Kaitlyn had other plans. She tried to break it smoothly, but Nick V. wasn’t having it. I guess he will just have to go back to his Instagram where he will mumble while taking more shirtless photos of himself basking in his single glory.
Later on After the Final Rose, we meet up with the happy couple, Shawn looking so sexy and Kaitlyn looking like an HD version of herself, while Chris Harrison has forced Nick’s family to sit and watch the whole thing unfold. Nick closed out his 15 minutes of fame with more PT on the After the Final Rose show than the actual couple and we expect Shawn and Kaitlyn to stay together about 6 months post this whole mess.
Coming soon — BACHELOR IN PARADISE and the return of Shawn B.’s best friend, Ben H. See you next season!
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