It’s been some time since I did one of my XO, NM posts of personal rambles and thoughts. I was in the shower this morning thinking about life (I get all my best ideas in the shower believe it or not), I was reflecting on how much has changed in the past few years. Mainly friendships. And so, here is a post all about that!
It’s a weird thing growing up. Especially when you’re a female. But, female or not, we all go through the same kind of changes as we grow older. Think about it: for the first 18 or 19 years of our lives, we’re used to being on the same page as our friends — go to school, extra curricular activities, stupid high school relationships, applying for college, etc. BUT as we grow older, our priorities change and so in turn, so do our friendships. Which is not necessarily a bad thing.
I’m 23 and I’ve got to say it’s really been a time of change for me. Once I graduated college, I saw a major shift in my friends; some people wanting to find love and get married, some focusing on their career, and some still stuck in the college lifestyle. We’re all kind of doing our own thing, building our future lives and pursuing different goals. And that’s kind of cool in its own way because you are constantly learning & constantly changing. You can either sit and reminisce about how things used to be or jump on the train and adjust accordingly. I recommend the latter — from experience.
The truth is, people change. Priorities change. Relationships change. Some friends will see you reach some sort of success they have yet to achieve and become jealous. Some friends will enter new relationships knocking you from #1 priority to #5. Some friends will move away, get married, betray you, you name it. But some friends will stick by you through thick and thin, through the good and the bad, and will become your family. People will surprise you for better or for worse. I’ve become closer to those who have stuck by me, supported me, knew something was wrong before I even had to say anything, and watched me go through the ups and downs of both my professional and personal life. I’ve pulled away from people who don’t necessarily want the best for me, can’t see me do better, and just haven’t been there the way that I needed or wanted. And here’s the thing: we all need and want different things. That’s the beauty of it all. Each friend provides something different. Some provide all.
With all of this said, whether you agree or not with your friend’s life decisions, you can’t judge. And because we all need or want different things, we go on different paths in order to get it. We all know I don’t agree with a lot of things, but I can never judge someone’s choices because quite simply, it’s not my life to live. I think I’ve maybe been told I’m judgmental twice in my 23 years of life and you can guess how I reacted to that accusation. Keep your mind open, love those who love you, love those who don’t want the best for you, and keep moving forward. That’s all you can really do without going crazy. Whenever I’m upset about a shift in my friendship, my best friend Jessica always tells me, “that’s who this person is now. You can either spend your time and energy fighting it or moving forward in the best way you know how. Unless you want to throw away your friendship — which I don’t think you do — so find a way to adjust.” Wise words and probably one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten in regards to my friendships. No use crying over spilt milk. Clean it up and get on with your day. Growing up is hard to do.
Can anyone out there relate?