XO NM

Dealing with Loss

Dealing with Loss

I hope your holiday week is going smoothly and for those of you that have the week off, I hope you’re enjoying it!

The plan was to have posts for this week from me (let the team off the hook for the week), however I have been just as MIA as them. If you follow me on Periscope, you know that I’ve been dealing with a couple of things but mainly, the loss of my grandfather.

I’m no stranger to loss. In fact, much of my teen years and into my early twenties were filled with the loss of friends and family members. It’s funny how dealing with death can teach us the most about not just ourselves, but also how we want to live our lives.

No one’s mourning process is the same. And you can’t expect people to react the way you want them to.

My grandfather passed away pretty suddenly – well as sudden as it can get for someone who was over 90 but in pretty decent shape. He was my second dad and our relationship was very special. The reason my career is what it is today is because of that man. So you can imagine what a tough time I’m having.

This tough time I’m going through inspired me to write about the mourning process – I’m unclear why everyone runs away from talking about it but I can’t.

A loss is a loss. It doesn’t matter if it was expected or not, it’s still painful and it’s still hard.

When I attended my grandfather’s funeral last week, I was bombarded with people telling me how to feel, barking orders at me to not watch, or being inconsiderate enough to tell me not to cry.

Let me just say this:

No matter what your intentions are, you should never tell anyone how to feel nor should you ever tell them whether or not they should be crying.

After the 100+ people left the burial, I wanted a minute to process and I wanted a second to say my own personal goodbyes. I’m someone who doesn’t do well in crowds and at 25 years old, I know what I need to do for my own mourning process. My minute was interrupted by people yelling at me telling me I shouldn’t be there – uh who are you? – and telling me not to cry.

It’s wrong and disrespectful to someone’s personal mourning process. You don’t get a say in how someone deals with loss. You don’t get to have an opinion on what is the right or wrong way to mourn for someone else. 

These past two weeks have been super challenging for me, but taking a minute for myself whenever I’ve needed it has been the best thing I could do for myself. And, if you’re going through the same thing, don’t apologize for taking time for yourself.

For now, I’m taking the time to just heal. 

Thank you for your messages, comments, emails, etc. It has meant the world to me and I am so overwhelmed by all of the love. 

xo NM

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