Leaving the party at the right time has been lost on our generation, as we are not taught to look over social cues and practice social etiquette.
I am the QUEEN of the shady dip AKA leaving the party without everyone knowing I’ve left. Why? Because lingering and overstaying your welcome never leaves people wanting Mora. So to speak.
Growing up, my mom always taught me to never RSVP “yes” to every invite I got. She told me it’s good for people to miss you versus being the girl that people to expect at every single party. BORING. I never really understood this when I was younger, but I ended up kind of following it. Having different groups of friends at different schools allowed me to spread myself around socially. I had JOMO (joy of missing out) without realizing I had it.
When I got to college, I started observing people around me. There were really two types of people: those who left at a reasonable time, and those who (in my opinion) overstayed their welcome. I also started to look at how people responded to seeing the friends they had come to expect at every party versus the friends that weren’t always around. Needless to say, some people were greeted with less enthusiasm than others.
Through this, I came to learn the importance of knowing the right time to leave the party. Or a small friend gathering. Basically any social event that has a start time.
The main rule: don’t be the last to leave. And if it’s your BFF4L, help them clean and then LEAVE. Do. Not. Linger. It makes the host super uncomfortable and not everyone is comfortable saying “I’m really tired, thank you for coming” even to their bestie for the restie.
A great cue as to when you should leave is after dessert has been served.
Now let’s say you’re going to some rager of a party. Feel the room out. If the party is bumpin’ and jumpin’ as if it just started, stay. Once it starts to die down (tends to happen after midnight), that’s your cue.
Let people miss you. Let them wonder where you went and if you left. If it’s a big party, I say bye to a few people and shady dip. When there are over 200 people, the host isn’t going to notice when you left.
Operating the shady dip from a place of JOMO versus FOMO will leave you feeling fresh and like your time is valuable. Not having a good time? Leave. You’re allowed. Why would you want to stay around energy you’re not vibing with?
I can’t stand it when people feel obligated to stay somewhere they’re not having a good time at. The only time I suck it up is when it’s someone in my closest circle. Other than that, if your party is boring me, I’m out.
Lingering isn’t cute. Waiting til people are cleaning up the dance floor isn’t cute. Giving people room to miss you, however, is very cute. I rather someone be annoyed with you because they didn’t get to spend enough time with you over being annoyed with you because you stayed past their mental capacity. Feel me?
But Nic, where else would I go? I don’t want to go home.
Get the fuck over it. My parents used to tell me nothing good happens after 2am and quite frankly, they were right. Make your room a sacred space so when you go home, you can enjoy it.
And now I need to know when to close out a blog post. So I’m out of here. Adios!