Our egos can be one little son of a bitch, can’t they?
I’ll go as far as to say on here that I’ve always gotten what I wanted. If someone told me ‘no’, I’d find a way to get the ‘yes’. No, my parents didn’t spoil me – I worked for everything I’ve ever wanted. But here’s the thing: the problem with working hard to get what you want is that it creates a feeling of entitlement within you. Work hard, don’t give up, and you’ll get what you want. It’s almost as if you deserve it just because you fought for it. Or maybe you didn’t even fight for it, but you just happen to get it. I’ve been this way for years in all areas of life.
What happens when the time comes and you don’t get what you want? What happens when you feel unworthy, unwanted, or simply not good enough? Shit goes haywire. At least it does for me.
I’ve had this inner battle with my ego for a few years now. I don’t know if it’s because my ego has inflated or if it’s because I’m just more aware of it actually being there. To be honest, it’s probably a mix of the two.
There’s been so much debate on whether having an ego is beneficial or harmful to your quality of life. In a way, having an ego is a good thing because you have self worth. If I know my worth I won’t settle for less. Okay, makes sense. But wait. If I have too much self worth then I will oversee amazing opportunities without even giving it a thought or a try — and that’s not good either.
I recently became aware of this after a couple of events that left me feeling deflated and confused. [highlight]If someone could physically punch my ego, it would have turned up black and blue. [/highlight]Cue in the beginning of the war inside of my head. Should I take things personally? Or should I blame the situation/person? It’s always easier to blame someone or something else. Yet, at the end of the day, it’s YOU that didn’t get the job or wasn’t wanted by someone you liked or whatever else brought you down. I’ve been trying to quiet the noise inside my head, figure out how to deal with my freaking ego, and proceed forward. It’s not easy, I can tell you that much. Just like a bruise that sometimes takes weeks to heal, so can an ego – except I’m convinced that an ego takes longer.
So how do you find the balance between too much ego and too little? Someone please let me know, because I am struggling, hunny.
What’s been helping me is taking a pause and sorting the thoughts in my head. Also, not taking every compliment I receive or every diss so seriously. Everything with a grain of salt. At this point in my life, after a lot of soul searching and ups and downs, I know my worth. I know what I bring to the table. And I know what I have to offer. In both business and personal. And in that sense, I think having a bit of ego is great. However, I do think I need to be more open in terms of giving people a chance rather than writing them off — this would be where having an ego is bad.
At the end of the day, it’s finding the balance. Most of us deal with our egos everyday. Sometimes it prevents us from amazing things happening to us, sometimes it allows us to seek amazing things. It’s acknowledging the moments when it’s all about you and letting it go when it’s not all about you.
I truly believe that having a little bit of an ego produces the biggest game changers, but I also believe that too much of it can prevent someone from being one. Welp, I guess there’s some food for thought on this [typography font=”Cantarell” size=”15″ size_format=”px” color=”#ff6666″]MORAvational Monday[/typography] !
What do you think? How do you find the balance?
xo [typography font=”Cantarell” size=”15″ size_format=”px” color=”#ff6666″]NM[/typography]