I’m a fighter. I fight for those I care about, so when someone decides they’re out, I have a hard time with it. Especially because most of my relationships are ones I’ve had forever and plan on having forever. However, I’ve also been on the opposite end where I’ve walked away from friendships because they were just not for me anymore; I outgrew them and connected with other people on the same level.
I have to be honest here and say I’ve been struggling for about 2 years now with a certain relationship in my life. One that I’ve had since middle school. The more I grew, the more I found her to be in the same place not growing, just being. And I started to see it pushing us apart. We no longer had the same outlook on life, and the more I explored the world and myself, the more I wanted to keep growing. You see, to me, seeing the world and how they live makes a person way more interesting than someone who knows how to read a textbook, pass tests and get a degree. But hey, that’s just me and there are a lot of people like the latter.
There’s no need to get into detail as to why the relationship has been failing, but I’ll just say it’s been on a downward spiral. I’ve cried time and time again, fighting for the friendship, fighting for something that at one time meant everything to me.
[highlight]The death of a friendship is a lot like dealing with a real death. [/highlight]You would think by all of the real life death I have experienced, I would be a pro at this by now, but alas, I am not.
I was in the first stage of grief: Denial.
Way easier to sweep everything under the rug, right? We both were in a state of denial where we would still call each other and make small talk. The calls got less and less, and so did the texts. The more I realized she no longer wanted the best for me, I arrived at…
Stage 2: Anger.
I stayed in this stage for a longgggg time. I skipped over stage 3 (bargaining) and went straight to…
Stage 4: Depression.
I wasn’t depressed in my day-to-day life, I was just really sad about the situation. The situation was very clear, but I couldn’t help myself nor was I ready for stage 5. Happy to say that about a month ago I hit…
Stage 5: Acceptance.
I have accepted we are no longer REALLY friends, that she will never want as good for me as I wanted for her, that now we live two totally different lives. Even though that the life she is currently living is majorly due to me and my doing. So you’re welcome for that!
What I have been able to learn through all of this is the need to find a way to let go. I don’t know about you, but I have a problem with letting certain things go. But through this entire (and draining) experience, I learned the importance of it.
When you are able to let go, you are no longer allowing someone to have power over you and your emotions. [highlight]No one should ever be allowed to take up a negative space in your head or your heart.[/highlight] It’s not worth it.
Negativity and stress is toxic to your health. It will seriously eat away at your insides and it can be contagious. Nobody wants that, do they? Stress is the #1 killer, so the sooner you learn to move on, the better (literally) it is for you.
Truth of the matter is, if someone wants to be there for you and show up for you, they will. And if they don’t, they don’t deserve you to fight for them.
How are you able to let go? Can you relate to this story? Share your thoughts below!
xo [typography font=”Cantarell” size=”15″ size_format=”px” color=”#ff6666″]NM[/typography]