Today marks a year since we lost my Husky puppy, Bronx.
Many of you have wrote to me over the last year asking me what happened & how it happened so fast. To be honest, I wasn’t ready to answer questions or to revisit that day. I needed some time to pass and decided today would be a good day to share everything about my favorite Husky.
My brother came home in May 2017 with a 6 week old Husky puppy we named Bronx. He was my birthday gift from my family. Bronx came into our lives with his piercing blue eyes and quite literally stole all of our hearts. At the time, I was unemployed, trying to figure out my next career move, and healing from a break up. Along with many other lessons, he quickly taught me about real unconditional love. For the first time, I knew what it felt like to love something so much my heart felt like it could actually burst.
In the beginning of 2018, Bronx was diagnosed with incurable heart disease and 3 deformities in his heart.
The news of Bronx’s heart disease was simultaneous with my career starting to take off. I had just booked Face Five (formally FaceTime Five), was frequently freelancing for Hollyscoop & AOL, and booked a major collab with STARZ network. As soon as I felt like I was “set” for the first time in years, life took me for another spin.
After an exciting night celebrating the second night of Passover at our house with Bronx running around playing, I woke up to a completely different Husky. He wouldn’t go for a walk, eat food, or drink any water.
My anxiety was through the roof. After several hours of going insane, I finally took him to the vet. Deep down, I knew what was happening.
After a bunch of tests, the cardiologist told me he was in severe heart failure, forcing us to make a decision quickly. The rest is still kind of a blur. We were all in agreement to give Bronx the least amount of suffering. Our cardiologist agreed that putting him down was the most humane thing to do in this case.
There was a lot of crying all around. My family said their goodbyes and left me alone to say mine. I felt like I was in a bad dream. The vet technicians were crying, Bronx had tubes in him, and the reality that I was never going to see him again hit me. I’ve experienced immense loss in my life, just never like this. This felt, and will always feel, different.
How did we get here? Is it my fault? What if I made the wrong choice? What if he would have been back to normal in a few days? I never got him the dog cake for his birthday. He was barely a year old. How?
Thank God for my family and the friends I call family. Everyone really held it down for me, regardless of the pain they were feeling, too. The days and weeks that followed were a reminder of the impact that Bronx had not just on me, but everyone who got to love him. We shed tears and stories about how this little Husky puppy we saved ended up saving us all instead. From our friends and family, to our bank advisors, to our coworkers, to our neighbors, everyone seemed to have had a deep love for Bronx. He radiated love.
I still feel a lot of guilt for what happened, but I’ve tried to take this situation and make it a more positive one by helping out some amazing organizations in honor of Bronx. I didn’t know where to start, and after the last year, my favorites have been:
I learned so much from my year with Bronx. There’s definitely not enough information about pet health, especially when it comes to heart disease. I’ve felt like it’s part of my duty to bring awareness to this and to start the conversation about how to navigate the ups and downs of having a sick pet. I learned about how many bad breeders there are who leave animals for dead, and its made me want to work with the organizations that help prevent this from happening.
It was a life changing year with my blue eyed Husky. He loved me, healed me, reminded me about the power of love, and when I was finally okay on my own and back to my old self, he left me peacefully. And for that, I’m thankful. I carry Bronx with me always.
Sometimes certain things come into our lives for a short while, but the impact lasts forever.
Thank you for following the journey, for sharing in my pain, and for letting me heal. I’ve loved hearing how much some of you loved Bronx even just through Instagram. It’s crazy what our pets can do for us if we let them.
Hug your pets. Love your pets. If you’re looking for a new fury friend, try to adopt or rescue.
All my love.