On my way to a TV appearance yesterday, I was discussing with my mom how evil women can be to one another. Evil isn’t even the right word…vicious is more like it. I’ve seen women tear down other women for absolutely no reason other than jealousy and that’s just so sad to me! What’s even worse was that my mom said it doesn’t necessarily get easier as you grow older. But like, really though? WHY.
I started to see this more and more as I got older — or maybe I just realized we are no longer 15 year old girls anymore and it’s unacceptable to behave like one — the happier I was, the more other women around me couldn’t handle it. But when I was down, going through rough times, and unable to find my way, they couldn’t have been better friends to me. This dynamic for women is a weird thing. I never quite understood it because my mom always taught me to support other women, especially because it’s so much harder to make it for our gender. I guess the whole situation gets sticky and competitive real quick.
I’m just now learning that just because you consider another female your close friend doesn’t mean they’re your biggest fan or supporter; And just because that female is close to you definitely does not mean they are going to talk highly of you to other people. I’m still trying to wrap my head around this. To me, it’s simple: if someone is so close to you that you consider them a good friend or a best friend, then it only makes sense to want all of the happiness and success in the world for them. When I first started gaining traction in my career outside of USC, I quickly learned who couldn’t handle it and who was going to be in my corner the whole way through.
Our past “Woman on the Rise”, Melissa Purner even said in her interview that “it’s never cool to be the mean girl.” I hope that we can all take note on that. Listen, I get it. Sometimes we can’t help get a little jealous if we see our friend become successful if maybe we’re not on that level yet or if she gets a great new boyfriend. HOWEVER, you should never not be happy for someone else’s happiness. And the truth is, so many women today are.
Try to focus on your own happiness instead of carrying these feelings of resentment, anger or jealousy. It’s not healthy. You’re not creating solid friendships this way, and you will end up being miserable. There is no one else in the world that is like you — I mean, how crazy is that? Billions of people in the world and there’s only one of you. Embrace that. Everyone’s time for success in all aspects of life are different and will not come to you if you are trying to tear down other women.
It’s good to be a girl’s girl. It’s so wonderful when I see other girls sharing their love for their bestie on social media. I love it when I see other girls cheering each other on. All of this competitive nature comes from insecurity. Be confident in YOU. We’re never going to get far if we are always trying to outdo one another.